- 1. a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.
- 2. the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost.”a team of salvage experts to ensure the recovery of family possessions”
As survivors of trauma, we find ourselves perpetually in the company, of other humans , obsessed with recovery. We are confident that most people, when they hear and use the term, the are presupposed to the notion that recovery, means a positive life improvement. This could not be further from the reality of most complex trauma survivors.
By definition, the term “recovery”, is not a polar definition. The word itself is an action word, and cannot notate polarity of the emotional or physical condition. For our purposes her win this reading, recovery is the second of the two definitions, a process.
For trauma survivors, most have already developed coping strategies, in the form of personality disorders, and other non-neurotypical methodologies. These skills are never guaranteed to align with societal norms, many times causing more anguish than relief.
So, since we have come to understand that recovery and coping are all truly individual and based in perception, we had to put a more structured definition into place, the regaining of control. For most people, control is a relative term. When the bulk of people think of control, they think of something, not someone. This is not the type of control we are referring to here today. For abusers, they can only feel powerful, when they’re abusing. For them, to control is power. To control your fear, your sense of safety, your very consciousness. This is the true nature of all complex trauma.
When a survivor, is in this instance, learns that their own beliefs are valid. Their fears are logical and they are not responsible for the worlds problems, adulting can begin. this is where we find most people stumble. When the reality of self awareness becomes, reality. When the acceptance of our trauma, our plurality, and our own rage, lands in our lap. The time required to reach this point is irrelevant. Time itself is irrelevant to plurals, as we only experience the phenomenon when we are fronting. For us, we can now begin to slow down our fears and insecurities. We can begin to take the reins in our existence. We can experience true authenticity, and existential freedom.
Learning to live in recovery is difficult for us. When we say recovery, we do not mean to imply that we are broken, or repaired. We are exactly as we needed to become. Now the time has come for us to direct our own lives. To grow and learn from our adult interactions, as an adult. Regulation of our fears, that are rooted in our past, and in our subconscious. We desire to always remember the feelings that convinced us to an existence of shame and guilt. We need to never forget, however we are in control now, and can stop the tide and f emotional dysregulation that almost always follows. We are now driving the bus, not our trauma triangle, of fear guilt and shame, that was taught to us as children.
With the plethora of co-morbidities that accompanies the baggage any trauma survivor has, realization of our own control, has been breeding self confidence, adjusted self image, and even a little bit of self deserved arrogance, LARRY! Do not ever fall into the trap of thinking we are broken. That we have to be repaired to be a member of society. We are infuriated with the portrayal of plurals, and other neurodivergents, as sick, broken and dangerous. Recovery for us, is not becoming like everyone else wants us to be; Rather we are allowed to become who we are without the fears of pain, shame, and guilt. All of which we have been trained to carry.