Blaming the Mentally Ill

Nothing has come to anger us more in life, than the shrugging of personal accountability. We have found it is those whom most want to cover their own like in the sand that place blame on the most vulnerable. Recently we responded to a post on a professional platform about homelessness in America. The post …

Removing Fear From Survival

“We are not broken; We are what comes next”

How Long Must We Pay For The Sins Of Others.

So, a bit of a prologue here. We were on an emotional, chemical high. All natural, mostly. Lol. We did not go back and rearrange the paragraphs, so they are in the order as we processed them. We did this to simply demonstrate how deep the fracturing effects our everything. As we write today, we …

Sorry, Not Sorry about the Alters.

Today has been a shut day on so many levels. Honestly, most of it our own making. Damn, we hate that. When we realize we usually make it worse all on our own. Today is no exception. For personal reasons, let’s say my personal life is a train wreck. Again, not too surprising, neither is …

Abandonment

This is something that is not exclusive to Dissociative Disorders. Abandonment, and more importantly the fear of, is at the heart of many developmental, emotional and mental disorders. More importantly, we must first understand what the term means to those of us who fear it, and why. The world abandonment, usually means to most people, …

Sure, I’d love to go!, Of course I am Going to Cancel On You!

One of the greatest complaints about is, from significant others, schools, courts, and friends, is our ability to either cancel our plans or not show at all. We can orchestrate these monumental events, and at the very last minute cancel them. This does not mean we will not change our mind again, as many times …

Choosing Not To Abuse

If you are going to let an asshole into your house, do not be surprised when he breaks something.

My Alters Are Not Crazy, I Am

For as many years as we can remember, the feeling like we were very different, was always there. Maybe not the conscience knowledge of a particular issue, but the unthought-known, something was certainly "special" about us. The almost predictable ridicule and bullying we experienced though our early years, till our post adolescent years, was certainly …

So, just a quick note…..

We are in the process of trying to update our website. We are not getting too much support from the system for other reasons, but needless to say I suck st it. Lol. If there is anyone who is familiar with WordPress and would like to give us a hand, we would be grateful. We …

Trauma Superstorm Part 3

Part 3. Running Into Darkness We have now exposed and examined the situations that caused the early trauma trifecta. The inability for the child to have an effective baseline of safety and boundaries, the lack of a safe space, either real or perceived, and the radically unstable maternal figure, our mom. Our only solution, to …

Trauma Superstorm Part 2

Part 2 We have now come to the part, where the child has repeatedly been forced to cope with a laundry list of “innocuous horrors”. We use this term, because our parents could be famous quoting to us the many reasons that we were never abused. The verbiage was almost always the same, even though …

Trauma Superstorm Part 1.

Part One. Handmade Victim As an infant. We almost certainly would have been identified INFP-T. The gentle nature would have made us the apparent victim for an experienced abuser. The heir apparent. As a toddler, our reality already shattered, and the emotional, physical and psychological abuse comes to pass from our parents, all the whirl …

DID, Marriage, and Therapy

This is a difficult subject for us to discuss. Even to begin. To try and transpose our food experiences and emotions about this subject, and exhaustive before we even begin. coming to full awareness while in a damaged relationship, is the black hole, of unstable confusion. When we came it be with our wife, now …

What is Recovery

re·cov·er·y/rəˈkəv(ə)rē/ in:AllLawSportsnoun 1. a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.2. the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost."a team of salvage experts to ensure the recovery of family possessions" As survivors of trauma, we find ourselves perpetually in the company, of other humans , obsessed with recovery. …

Thriving, Over Surviving

For us, the realization and awareness of our plurality has been grueling at times, and serene at others. Just as our external moods have always seemed to shift in almost Bipolar fashions, our internal barometer is no different. At some point in our life, we became accepting of the fact we were never to be …

Redefining Identity, After Complex Trauma Part II

So many of us that suffer from PTSD/cPTSD, and other associated trauma diagnosis, have no idea at all who we really are.  We only have the misinformed ideas we were taught at such young age.  Many of these ideas, contributed to the trauma, or did nothing more than reinforce the negative perceptions we have about …

Moving Into The Future, and Out Of The Past, With Dissociative Identity Disorder. Part I

We have been having a revelation as of late, a seeming push from deep within our system to seek more than what is currently out there.  We feel that maybe, all of the therapy we have had, albeit lifesaving and helpful, is only the beginning to a recovery that is more evolution than repair.  We …

Is Suicide is a better alternative to this….

So, I challenge my readers, to explain to us why living in this fashion, is better than taking the chance that all will come to an end.

Regulating a Bully Alter

Having alters, can be more challenging than the worst spouse or room mate.  They have their own opinions, and once awareness is attained, they also know they have very little accountability for their actions.  For me, the worst part is not being able to leave the room when I need to.  You can never quiet …

the bad seed

Not knowing how to begin this piece, we wanted to speak of many things.  So much is in our consciousness at he moment, needing to erupt into the living world.  So many times we are fearful of the consequences of our thoughts, our desires, of the very feelings that are supposed to define who we …

Multiple Personalities and Polyamory. Finding Happiness Without Guilt, Shame or Judgement.

For those of you just tuning in, we are a system of thirteen alters, living inside a single body.   We are like a bunch of roommates, sharing a studio flat, in Tokyo.  The interpersonal exploits are as many as we are, multiplied exponentially.  This too goes for our love lives.   Welcome to the …

Get your popcorn and favorite substance, and hang on…….. D.I.D. Romance….

Six Daughters, Two Wives, fourteen personalities, in one body, and only one house.  Yes, you read correctly.  This post is going to address our very complicated, and very real situation we are currently living.  This is the reality of romance and marriage in DID.  This is the living hell/heaven/whatever, that we created, and many times …

The Dark Cloud Cometh

As we approach our travel day, away from Chaing May, the existential angst that has left us for most of our adventure returns.  The body has taken note, and we cannot deny the effects.  The fatigue, pain, and overall feelings of dread and dismay are completely upon us.  This is not a coincidence, this is …

Existential Empowerment

      Achieving Existential Power Existentialism, which like may philosophies, has been viewed as obscure, and in many cases almost meaningless to the common man. May philosophies have been all but dismissed as impractical studies, reserved for intellectual elites, and scholars. These studies are reserved for those who do not need to push through, in the …

An Existential Approach to The Integration Question

As we continue this journey through space and time, we realize more, there is no conclusion to our existence.  Even though death is a certainty, reaching the climax of our humanity is certainly unattainable.   The struggle to give meaning to the nothingness that we occupy only brings angst and despair. We are as Sartre …

Gaining Identity through Exi-Sential Balance

We have focused greatly on our opinion of the Existential ideology, and how that applies to the consciousness of our humanity, but also allows us to power our own freedom through true choice in actions.  Admittedly, we believe that an Existential attitude towards our day to day lives is preferred; this cannot however be the …

Achieving Existential Power

Power originating from individual authenticity, is the greatest source of energy in the universe.