We write not only here, but in another much larger space. We respond to some questions interesting inquiries at times. Here is one tonight.
A young lady sends me a message, wanting to know if she could tell if she has DID. This was different as we usually get people asking how to tell if someone else is multiple. But some interesting thoughts came to mind, so we wanted to share here.
What an interesting question, as most people wanting to know what it looks like, are outsiders. To answer your question, you need to adjust your perspective. You have to even understand what it’s like to live a series of lives, and never being able to control any of them. Reinforcing the already engraved beliefs of worthlessness and emptiness.
Looking back, we knew we were different. We had been in more psych facilities than jails, and both numbers were in the double digits. We had been accused of forgery because our handwriting was so different at times. We have even become aware waking up in an English prison, six months passing since our last bout of lucidity. Our parents moved so much we cannot even remember the names of all the schools. We were the families dirty little secret.
DID, has many names and just as many theories about every aspect. However one statistic remains constant. Most people that are diagnosed, and enter productive treatment, are almost all over fourty years of age. For example, the first record of us being “disturbed”, is in 1976. We were only five years old at the time. We were first diagnosed as having Multiple Personality Disorder by the courts at the age of thirteen. There was not a school psychologist we didn’t have a personal relationship with. We had no idea about our system, untill the year 2016.
in 2016, we had been using a large amount of narcotics for many years. We had broken our back in a work related accident, in 2008. We continued to spiral out of control, struggling to work, and even walk, for seven years. One day we woke up, and the only thing we could feel was a desire for more fentanyl. For us, that was enough. We had never allowed anything to control us for any years. We quit all are pain meds lol hat day. All medications.
as we struggled to find alternatives to opiates for pain management, we began to feel, again the voices that had left us for so long. As it happens, opiates will suppress alters. Maybe even better than benzos. We had at this point begun to isolate ourself. Our body was broken and we could do little about it, but xcept wait for a scary as hell series of surgeries. We had a lot of time to focus on us. Through the pain, we began to feel others taking a ur body from us. Giving us a respite from the agony. This was anpivotal moment for our system. Our first lucid contact, where I KNEW I was not alone.
we began reading, and trying to see if the things we were feeling, we’re real or just abbiritijns of an overactive imagination; As we had been told many times before. We began a search online, of course, answering quizzes, telling ourself “That’s not me”. Every time we would get the same Results over and over. I could not even make the internet lie for me. But wait. It must be me! I am answering these questions to get a negative result. It’s all in my head I would say. Yes, yes it is all in my head. Thank you
We cannot sit and tell you of what you are sending is a plural system, or one of the other trauma disorders. We are barely qualified to be retired. Lol. Seriously though, so not make the same mistake as us. Calling your insurance company or loooikg online for a therapist. This works for depressed housewives and feuding couples. Find a therapist who is Trauma Certified. That’s key.
keep reading. Learn all about not just DID but all the trauma stars, that you may or may not be experiencing. For most plurals we know. When you get the news of being multiple. Your not shocked. For us, it was the first time our gloves fit us. We could breathe. Even as we struggled to accept the realities, and still do sometimes, we knew in our bones it was true.